Life in Sector 2814

It's time (once again) to say ...

2008-12-31T13:25:00.003-06:00

Ahh, brings back memories ....

2008-12-31T13:08:00.002-06:00

At the time (early 1980's), when I got this handheld Galaxian game for Christmas, I was in arcade heaven!

WTF??!!

2008-12-23T13:16:00.002-06:00

This is out there, even for a fast food chain!

Big Trouble in Little China ...

2008-12-17T11:48:00.002-06:00

One of my all-time favorite "guilty pleasure films. Lo Pan rocks!

What not to do in GTA 4 ...

2008-12-13T13:52:00.001-06:00

...unless killing yourself is the ultimate goal!

Watch this. And this. (these are hilarious!)

Checkmate!

2008-12-13T13:40:00.003-06:00

Also, check out this youtube video of best hockey checks!

An oldie but goodie!

2008-12-13T13:15:00.001-06:00

This one is strictly for the band geeks!

2008-11-07T11:21:00.000-06:00

Dr. Kate Pulaski ...

2008-11-07T11:11:00.002-06:00

... back when she was hot!

Come November, vote your conscience ...

2008-10-21T07:25:00.001-05:00

RIP, Astroworld

2008-09-29T08:46:00.006-05:00

Yes, I know the park was demolished a few years ago. Yes, I know the park had become run-down, and, at times, seemed more like "gansta day care" than an amusement park for families.

However, I grew up with Astroworld, even before Six Flags owned the park. When I heard the powers that be were going to turn out the lights on the park for good, I was sad. Things change though, and the park is gone. So be it.

Here is a link to an Astroworld tribute site, containing additional links to an assortment of great photos from Astroworld's past.

After Hubble

2008-09-29T08:22:00.003-05:00

... is the James Webb Telescope. The potential of this telescope will far eclipse that of the Hubble Space Telescope, which itself has accomplished an astonishing library of unforgettable images. The JWT looks to launch to space in 2013.

Sequel to TRON

2008-09-29T07:55:00.004-05:00

I've been reading information about a sequel to TRON for some time on the Internet. It looks like they're finally going to make it. I loved seeing TRON for the first time in 1982. With today's technology, this new TRON film should look incredible.

Memo to Russian Duma:

2008-09-24T12:48:00.002-05:00

Pull the poles from your collective keisters!

A proposal to ban Halloween and Valentine's Day? What uniquely Russian holidays do you intend to replace them with? Great Purge Day? Gulag Day (that alone could replace Halloween). Oh wait, I know: We Lost the Moon Race Day!

Walt Handelman's political cartoons ...

2008-09-24T10:27:00.003-05:00

His material tends to lean to the left, but funny nonetheless. Find it here.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is an ...

2008-09-24T08:49:00.002-05:00

American empire nearing it's end? Not if I have something to say about!!!

Answer: We're screwed?!

2008-09-23T09:00:00.003-05:00

Nothing more Maalox-inducing than pumping damn near 1 trillion dollars into a bailout we're not even sure will work. Read here. Here's hoping they get it right! Meanwhile, CEO's left & right will be pulling those corporate ripcords.

Halo Kid!

2008-09-19T14:37:00.003-05:00

This reminds me of my old friend Kevin, when a bomber mysteriously shot & destroyed his ship on Defender, of perhaps when the Sini-Star roared at him one too may times! Click the link to watch.

The Truly Bizzare Adventures of Little Red Riding Hood!

2008-09-19T14:32:00.004-05:00

Again, click the GIF and save it. Where the heck this came from is beyond me! The little girl looks Asian, so perhaps it came from Japan.

A Spock moment

2008-09-19T13:47:00.002-05:00

A Leia moment

2008-09-19T13:46:00.002-05:00

I suggest Depends for these poor chaps

2008-09-19T08:31:00.003-05:00

I feel bad for the guys in the financial trenches. Stay strong, bros!

12 year old invents new solar cell ....

2008-09-18T15:23:00.004-05:00

I always dig stories about new innovation.

Brother, what do you see in this woman?!

2008-09-18T08:16:00.011-05:00

What?

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin ....

2008-09-18T08:16:00.007-05:00

Classic.

I'm still scouring various web sites for the full clip, free of analysis from the talking heads. Here's a video (with analysis) from youtube.

O-Ren Ishi, AKA Cottonmouth

2008-09-18T08:16:00.003-05:00

This scene always makes me laugh.

I'm feeling blue, Bill ....

2008-09-11T15:19:00.002-05:00

A Mac is sounding really good about now, and I don't mean Big-Mac.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAUREN !!!

2008-09-11T08:42:00.003-05:00

My sister-in-law turns the Big 21 today! I hope you have a fantastic day!

Once again, time to honor the fallen of 9/11

2008-09-11T08:35:00.002-05:00

God Bless America.

Time to ditch my weed eater ...

2008-09-11T08:30:00.003-05:00

With pets like these, I might never have to mow the yard again!

Related?

2008-09-10T10:53:00.002-05:00

Jude Law's ever decreasing hair line gives him an uncanny resemblance to fellow Brit Phil Collins. Next thing you know, Jude will bust out a rendition of Turn it on Again!

Get a clue, Ford

2008-09-09T15:46:00.003-05:00

Ford creates a 65 MPG diesel car, but claims they can't sell it in the U.S., due to "hostility" towards diesel fuel. I'm willing to bet if Ford offered 2,000 of these new Festivas, they would roll off the lot in record time!

R.I.P. Ford Motor Corporation. Both you and GM.

"How can it not know what it is?"

2008-09-09T14:22:00.005-05:00

I suppose this potential new life form has quite a way to go before becoming the next generation of Nexus 6 replicant.

Does anyone even watch MTV anymore?

2008-09-09T08:52:00.004-05:00

I forgot the VMA awards even exists. If memory recalls, didn't MTV stop being a music channel around 1988?

Attack of the Black Hole!

2008-09-09T08:43:00.003-05:00

This is one cool experiment, but the doom prediction nuts are hard at work, claiming the earth will blow up, or an uncontrollable black hole will form and eat half the solar system. Well, we'll never know until we flip the switch, will we?!

So long Astroland ...

2008-09-07T21:53:00.004-05:00

It appears the final curtain is about to fall on the famed Astroland amusement park at Coney Island, NY. Despite this, both the Cyclone roller coaster will live on, which is more than I can say for the late Texas Cyclone.

Wishful thinking ...

2008-09-05T12:44:00.004-05:00

The only thing better than George Lucas in carbonite is Jar Jar Binks in carbonite!

Unless it's Barbie in carbonite!

60 burgers?!

2008-09-05T08:45:00.003-05:00

I sure hope he wins the contest. He's going to need the $50,000 to pay for his inevitable heart implosion!

Dying to get married

2008-09-05T08:36:00.002-05:00

A marriage at a funeral home? Whatever ...

2008-09-04T19:59:00.000-05:00

The latest exercise craze!

2008-09-02T08:51:00.004-05:00

Sexxxercise!

How soon before the combination home exercise DVD and self installation brass pole is released?! Why do Tae Bo or Yoga, when grandma can get her fitness workout with Sexxercise?!

Great jump! You're fired.

2008-09-02T08:43:00.004-05:00

Even I know Durham and Chapel Hill, NC are 40 miles apart from each other. How high up did these guys skydive from, 100,000 feet?!

Deep fried coronary, anyone?!

2008-09-02T08:32:00.004-05:00

Sounds good. Let's hope they have an ambulance nearby!

Things are bigger in Texas, especially waistlines.

No fun allowed

2008-09-02T08:26:00.003-05:00

Tell these Australian school administrators to get the poles out of their collective keisters!

Now that's devotion!

2008-08-29T12:59:00.000-05:00

Ebay smarts!

2008-08-27T08:13:00.003-05:00

Props to the Mount Penn, PA fire department for saying hell no to the $808,000 sticker price for a new fire truck. As a result, they did a search and found a used fire truck on Ebay for a fraction of the price.

I cleaned my room, mommy. Trust me!

2008-08-26T12:02:00.003-05:00

Eh, I think not!

Second verse, same as the first! It appears as if "Dear Leader" & North Korea are at it again. South Korea is a shining example of the potential a United Korea could be. I know it's wishful thinking, but I keep hoping one day the North will renounce their regime and re-unify with the South.

"Not as clumsy or random as a blaster ...

2008-08-26T08:23:00.003-05:00

... an elegant weapon, for a more civilized day."

For me personally, the moment in Star Wars where Luke ignites his father's light saber for the first time grabbed me and didn't let me go as a fan.

I wish I could say the same thing about a moment (any moment) in the prequels that compares, but ...

I bet sales for Barbie fishing rods are on the rise!

2008-08-26T08:07:00.002-05:00

Are you kidding? A 21-pound catfish with a child's pink Barbie fishing pole?! You think Barbie rods will now be on the front display at Bass Pro Shop's fishing section?!

One limb at a time

2008-08-26T07:52:00.003-05:00

At the rate this guy is going, he'll be quadriplegic in no time!

Kentucky town goes to the dogs

2008-08-24T14:09:00.002-05:00

The previous mayor of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky was a dog. Yes, a DOG. The only candidate on the new ballot is ....you guessed it ... a dog.

I wonder if Rabbit Hash is not too far from Butcher Holler!

Grammar police caught by police!

2008-08-24T13:13:00.004-05:00

In their minds, these two men were simply doing what they believed was right. I guess they should consider themselves lucky they're not correcting errors on license plates in prison!

Cuba goes down hard!

2008-08-24T13:02:00.003-05:00

Congratulations to the South Korea baseball team for earning their first ever gold medal by beating the heavily favored Cuban team at the Beijing Olympics.

Oh well, back to the salt mines, muchachos!

No pitching a tent here!

2008-08-22T10:55:00.006-05:00

All these folks want is to stand erect, and feel up about themselves. What's wrong with that?

Talk about robbing the cradle!

2008-08-22T09:11:00.002-05:00

At least she was legal! I've heard that saying before about how several years difference in age matters not if you're truly in love, but this is ridiculous. In fact, I bet the age difference in this story tops Anna Nicole Smith marrying oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall!

A lot of women in the world today can say they're married to a soldier, but I'm betting she was the only one left who could say she was married to a confederate soldier. Wow!

Bye-bye Blow-up Susie!

2008-08-20T16:31:00.002-05:00

Check out these very lifelike, female robots. South Korea has EveR-1, and Japan has Actroid.

The next time your significant other gets out of line, just let her know she's now officially replaceable!

A freak of nature!

2008-08-20T09:38:00.005-05:00

Usain Bolt is truly his last name, and at 6'5", it makes his speed even more amazing.

200 meters in 19.30 seconds. That's one fast Jamaican!

Party in Ames, bring your rubber!

2008-08-20T09:05:00.005-05:00

Rubber sidewalk, that is!

So much for innovation

2008-08-20T08:43:00.002-05:00

These two German teenagers are most likely to become future engineers of alternative-powered vehicles. Innovation, IMHO, should be rewarded, not condemned!

I've got to go to Japan!

2008-08-18T13:50:00.002-05:00

If for no other reason, to stay in a capsule hotel. Definitely different, yet very efficient, and very cool. All reviews I've read so far say that, despite the human kennel-like space you sleep in, the hotel is kept impeccably clean, the sheets are fresh, the bathrooms are well kept, and most important, it's affordable (about 30$ a night).

The Japanese are truly the masters of making the most out of a confined space!

Be careful what you wish for ...

2008-08-18T12:58:00.002-05:00

Here hoping the mayor of this Australian town has stocked up on brown paper bags. Crikey!

"The devil inside, the devil inside ..."

2008-08-18T10:08:00.005-05:00

If it had been me, I would've claimed the dark side of the force. Satanic possession is so overused!

I'm not saying Bigfoot doesn't exist, however ....

2008-08-18T08:49:00.002-05:00

... it's more likely these two found moonshine, not Bigfoot!

Mensa Alert!

2008-08-18T08:44:00.002-05:00

This genius would've been better off robbing the store on a bicycle.

OLEY !!!

2008-08-18T08:36:00.003-05:00

I say more power to him!

Anyone remember that scene from The Blues Brothers?

2008-08-15T09:15:00.004-05:00

It's the scene where Jake & Elwood are being chased by the cops in the bluesmobile, and once they exit the vehicle, the car falls completely apart in front of them.

I can imagine the next owner of this truck will witness the same thing!

More (electric) power to this guy!

2008-08-14T10:53:00.002-05:00

Cool idea. Here's hoping the spirit of innovation never dies in this country.

You couldn't find love on the streets, pal ....

2008-08-14T09:32:00.003-05:00

... but I'm sure you'll find love in prison! Remember: When another inmate asks you if "anybody get to you yet", say no.

How did ZZ Top say it ...?

2008-08-14T09:08:00.002-05:00

"I JUST GOT PAID TODAY, GOT ME A POCKET FULL OF CHANGE."

The man bought a car with change. Wow. Imagine the weight of the change alone!

Don't drop the soap, clown!

2008-08-14T08:54:00.003-05:00

I got a good laugh over this story. Perhaps his cellmate will be a guy nicknamed Batman.

Idiot(s) of the week

2008-08-14T08:28:00.004-05:00

It must get pretty boring behind the counter sometimes at fast food restaurants. Leave it to these Rhodes scholars to find a solution to cure their boredom. On top of that, they broadcast their little stunt on Myspace. Morons!

Think twice the next time you reach for silverware at Burger King, McDonald's, etc.!

Jason Fox!

2008-08-13T16:06:00.006-05:00

Fire at Apple Computer Headquarters

2008-08-13T12:18:00.005-05:00

According to reports, the fire at one point grew to 3 alarms at the Cupertino facility. Thankfully, fire fighters were able to finally extinguish the flames, and an investigation is currently underway to ascertain the reason behind the fire.

You wouldn't suspect someone would've been motivated to start a fire at Apple, would you?!

Chinese officials go Milli Vanilli on opening ceremonies

2008-08-13T08:45:00.006-05:00

First digitally inserted fireworks, and now this. They say the little girl wasn't cute enough. Have they ever heard of makeup? With all the $ the Chinese were pumping into the opening ceremonies, how hard would it have been to toss this young singer into a max factor chair, and doll her up nice for her performance?

Here is the photo of the two girls. On the left: the girl who actually sang the song. On the right: the girl chosen to lip-sync.

The new Aquaman!

2008-08-12T10:27:00.002-05:00

Michael Phelp's performance at the Beijing Olympics has been nothing short of amazing. Inspiring, indeed!

Exercise insanity

2008-08-12T09:31:00.006-05:00

Here's a thought. Instead of paying $110.00 an hour to exercise in front of someone else's Nintendo Wii, why not just fork out the required $280.00 and obtain your very own Wii? That way, you can exercise to your heart's content at home!

I wouldn't care how much I overpaid for that football!

2008-08-12T09:09:00.002-05:00

This guy loved his football a little too much! The Pacific Ocean can have it.

Just imagine what the honeymoon will be like

2008-08-12T08:50:00.002-05:00

Oh my!

Simply Spectacular

2008-08-11T12:56:00.002-05:00

Last Friday's opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics were nothing short of phenomenal. Beautiful, majestic, and awe inspiring. It's been quite some time since I witnessed an event that left me speechless.

Way to go, China!

KNEEL BEFORE PRESIDENT ZOD!

2008-08-08T15:02:00.003-05:00

Check out this webpage. Funny stuff!

Who needs John McCain or Barack Obama? Vote for your true leader, General Zod!

... and copping a feel will warrant the death penalty

2008-08-08T12:58:00.002-05:00

"SLACKER!" -Mr. Strickland

A mere hug warrants detention?! I'm sorry, but don't these schools have bigger fish to fry?

Ex-girlfriend performs Tyson Maneuver on Seattle man

2008-08-08T11:59:00.004-05:00

Ouch, that'll leave a mark!

I guess that's why she's referred to as the ex-girlfriend.

That's an attention getter!

2008-08-08T11:16:00.004-05:00

Wow, now that's a statement!

Perhaps John McCain should've demanded a withdrawl of Russia from Georgia!

Then again, why would Russia want to pull out of Georgia? They've taken pleasure in screwing them for years!

Airlines are the new masters of the nickle & dime racket

2008-08-08T09:41:00.004-05:00

After reading this story, alternatives to air travel are definitely looking up!

I've always advocated research to create this form of travel!

You know you're having a bad day when ...

2008-08-08T08:58:00.002-05:00

this happens.

All I can think of is Monty Python & the Holy Grail.

RUN AWAY!!!

Thank you for sailing Royal Caribbean, now GET LOST

2008-08-07T22:11:00.004-05:00

I would love to have been a fly on the wall when this couple opened a letter indicating they were banned from Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines and its affiliates for life. After repeated cruises with RC, time and time again, this couple moaned and complained about everything. In a few instances, the cruise line agreed with them, and they were properly compensated. The majority of the time however, Royal Caribbean did not see it their way, and finally grew sick of the racket they were running to get refunds and freebies. Way to go, RC. Too many companies these days bend to the will of the consumer on every little thing, even if it isn't justified. Royal Caribbean took a stand. Props to them.

Anyone who's been in customer service long enough knows there are consumers out there who abuse the system to get unjustified compensation and freebies, at the expense of the merchant who was not at fault. I'm willing to bet this couple will go and sail on another cruise line, and start the same damn thing all over again. My hope is, inside of a couple of years, I'll be reading how they were banned from Carnival Cruise Line for life!

Oh yeah, this will make you sleep better at night

2008-08-07T15:52:00.003-05:00

Not one, not two, but three missile silo crews were caught sleeping on duty at a North Dakota military installation.

Talk about being busted down to private!

You weren't too fat to kill, were you ...?!

2008-08-07T10:21:00.004-05:00

This Ohio inmate claims he's too fat to be executed, stating his excessive weight doesn't allow for veins to be properly found for lethal injection. In fact, medical technicians at the prison have been unsuccessful at locating veins in him during previous medical procedures.

Ok. Fine. You know what? There's more than one way to peel a banana, even a fat one.

The State of Ohio should go drag out Old Sparky from the closet, and make this convict shake like jello for his crimes!

One moron, hold the mayo

2008-08-07T10:03:00.004-05:00

This idiot called 911 (twice, no less) because the local sandwich shop left the sauce off his italian sub! As a result, he was arrested by police for improper use of the 911 service.

This is the same kind of malcontent who intentionally ignores a low water crossing barrier during a flood, gets trapped, requiring emergency crews to rescue him, then complains when the county sends him the bill. Way to go, Mensa!

U.S. mail carrier wants his kilt!

2008-08-07T08:35:00.005-05:00

I personally hopes he gets his request granted. With summer temperatures being what they are, I'm sure a good kilt would provide some relief from the heat.

Of course, I can only imagine what the next USPS strike will look like(think the kilt flashing scene from Braveheart)!

Teen acts like a dick!

2008-08-06T21:41:00.004-05:00

I've seen some pretty good pranks at graduations before. You know, grads wearing nothing under their gown, crazy messages on the top of their caps, mooning the audience on stage, etc. This however, truly ups the ante. Talk about major cajones!

The Monk of Metal

2008-08-06T21:32:00.002-05:00

This guy is proof that, no matter your age or background, you can still bang-your-head with the best of them!

Bring on the Green Lantern movie

2008-08-06T13:04:00.003-05:00

With The Dark Knight chasing Titanic's overall box office take, Warner Bros. and DC Comics should now have the clout to greenlight a long overdue adaption of Green Lantern.

It doesn't matter to me if the main character is Hal Jordan, John Stewart, or Kyle Rayner. Villains? Sinestro, of course.

No more excuses, DC. Get it done, and make it good!

Oops!

2008-08-06T08:33:00.003-05:00

Women at a recent birthday party in Berlin were surprised when the police that showed up we're not male strippers, but indeed police!

What I've been told about German Polizei, it's not too hard to tell if they're the real deal or not. Just look out the window for the Polizei meat wagon. Look to see if they're carrying the infamous German Polizei rubber batons. Did they swagger in with a smile on their face, shirt partially unbuttoned, or did push their way in with steely-eyed stares? Bad call, ladies.

Judge Judy + earthquake = hijinks ensue

2008-08-05T21:16:00.005-05:00

The look on the defendant's face is priceless. He's looking around cringing, standing there like a deer in headlights. The funniest thing of all is Judge Judy herself. She was the first one to bolt from the courtroom!

Click here to watch.

The voice of the Bat!

2008-08-05T10:58:00.001-05:00

What's with the sudden hoopla about Batman's low, scruffy voice in The Dark Knight? I believe even non-fans of superheroes and comic books can put 2 & 2 together and figure out why Bruce Wayne speaks the way he does dressed as The Batman.

Right way to do the Batman voice: Michael Keaton in the beginning of the first Batman movie, grabbing a thug and telling him (low, raspy, foreboding) "I'm Batman."

Wrong way to do the Batman voice: George Clooney (complete with rubber nipples and a bat-credit card) announcing to Mr. Freeze (in George Clooney's normal voice) "Hello, Freeze. I'm Batman."

This article sums it up nicely.

Face it, folks. Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale got it right when it comes to the Caped Crusader.

Let's hear it cough for the gag Beijing Olympics!

2008-08-05T09:41:00.000-05:00

I wonder if Chinese officials will be handing out complimentary gas masks at the gates of Olympic stadium.

In all fairness, the United States has no room to talk. Cities like Los Angeles and Houston certainly are plagued by smog issues, but from the looks of things, Beijing is the smog capital of the world!

Funny, I thought the Smog Monster came from Japan.

Welcome to Planet Tabloid

2008-08-05T08:46:00.001-05:00

Recently, JPL's Phoenix Lander finally confirmed the presence of water on Mars. Scientists had theorized the possibility of water on the Martian surface for decades, but Phoenix finally validated the speculation. Did this significant, groundbreaking moment make large font, front page headlines? No. The public, minus a rare few, just shrugged, grabbed the remote, and switched over to Access Hollywood (or Judge Judy). It seems the top headlines these days are reserved for much more important issues, like People Magazine shelling out 14 million dollars for the first pictures of the Brangelina twins.

Ladies & gentlemen, welcome to Planet Tabloid.