Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Ebay smarts!


Props to the Mount Penn, PA fire department for saying hell no to the $808,000 sticker price for a new fire truck. As a result, they did a search and found a used fire truck on Ebay for a fraction of the price.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I cleaned my room, mommy. Trust me!

Eh, I think not!

Second verse, same as the first! It appears as if "Dear Leader" & North Korea are at it again. South Korea is a shining example of the potential a United Korea could be. I know it's wishful thinking, but I keep hoping one day the North will renounce their regime and re-unify with the South.

"Not as clumsy or random as a blaster ...


... an elegant weapon, for a more civilized day."


For me personally, the moment in Star Wars where Luke ignites his father's light saber for the first time grabbed me and didn't let me go as a fan.
I wish I could say the same thing about a moment (any moment) in the prequels that compares, but ...

I bet sales for Barbie fishing rods are on the rise!


Are you kidding? A 21-pound catfish with a child's pink Barbie fishing pole?! You think Barbie rods will now be on the front display at Bass Pro Shop's fishing section?!

One limb at a time




At the rate this guy is going, he'll be quadriplegic in no time!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Kentucky town goes to the dogs

The previous mayor of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky was a dog. Yes, a DOG. The only candidate on the new ballot is ....you guessed it ... a dog.

I wonder if Rabbit Hash is not too far from Butcher Holler!

Grammar police caught by police!


In their minds, these two men were simply doing what they believed was right. I guess they should consider themselves lucky they're not correcting errors on license plates in prison!

Cuba goes down hard!


Congratulations to the South Korea baseball team for earning their first ever gold medal by beating the heavily favored Cuban team at the Beijing Olympics.

Oh well, back to the salt mines, muchachos!

Friday, August 22, 2008

No pitching a tent here!


All these folks want is to stand erect, and feel up about themselves. What's wrong with that?

Talk about robbing the cradle!



At least she was legal! I've heard that saying before about how several years difference in age matters not if you're truly in love, but this is ridiculous. In fact, I bet the age difference in this story tops Anna Nicole Smith marrying oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall!

A lot of women in the world today can say they're married to a soldier, but I'm betting she was the only one left who could say she was married to a confederate soldier. Wow!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Bye-bye Blow-up Susie!




Check out these very lifelike, female robots. South Korea has EveR-1, and Japan has Actroid.


The next time your significant other gets out of line, just let her know she's now officially replaceable!

A freak of nature!


Usain Bolt is truly his last name, and at 6'5", it makes his speed even more amazing.

200 meters in 19.30 seconds. That's one fast Jamaican!

Party in Ames, bring your rubber!




Rubber sidewalk, that is!



So much for innovation




These two German teenagers are most likely to become future engineers of alternative-powered vehicles. Innovation, IMHO, should be rewarded, not condemned!

Monday, August 18, 2008

I've got to go to Japan!



If for no other reason, to stay in a capsule hotel. Definitely different, yet very efficient, and very cool. All reviews I've read so far say that, despite the human kennel-like space you sleep in, the hotel is kept impeccably clean, the sheets are fresh, the bathrooms are well kept, and most important, it's affordable (about 30$ a night).

The Japanese are truly the masters of making the most out of a confined space!

Be careful what you wish for ...




Here hoping the mayor of this Australian town has stocked up on brown paper bags. Crikey!

"The devil inside, the devil inside ..."




If it had been me, I would've claimed the dark side of the force. Satanic possession is so overused!

I'm not saying Bigfoot doesn't exist, however ....



... it's more likely these two found moonshine, not Bigfoot!

Mensa Alert!




This genius would've been better off robbing the store on a bicycle.

OLEY !!!




I say more power to him!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Anyone remember that scene from The Blues Brothers?


It's the scene where Jake & Elwood are being chased by the cops in the bluesmobile, and once they exit the vehicle, the car falls completely apart in front of them.


I can imagine the next owner of this truck will witness the same thing!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

More (electric) power to this guy!




Cool idea. Here's hoping the spirit of innovation never dies in this country.

You couldn't find love on the streets, pal ....




... but I'm sure you'll find love in prison! Remember: When another inmate asks you if "anybody get to you yet", say no.

How did ZZ Top say it ...?


"I JUST GOT PAID TODAY, GOT ME A POCKET FULL OF CHANGE."




The man bought a car with change. Wow. Imagine the weight of the change alone!

Don't drop the soap, clown!


I got a good laugh over this story. Perhaps his cellmate will be a guy nicknamed Batman.

Idiot(s) of the week

It must get pretty boring behind the counter sometimes at fast food restaurants. Leave it to these Rhodes scholars to find a solution to cure their boredom. On top of that, they broadcast their little stunt on Myspace. Morons!



Think twice the next time you reach for silverware at Burger King, McDonald's, etc.!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Jason Fox!


Fire at Apple Computer Headquarters


According to reports, the fire at one point grew to 3 alarms at the Cupertino facility. Thankfully, fire fighters were able to finally extinguish the flames, and an investigation is currently underway to ascertain the reason behind the fire.

You wouldn't suspect someone would've been motivated to start a fire at Apple, would you?!


Chinese officials go Milli Vanilli on opening ceremonies

First digitally inserted fireworks, and now this. They say the little girl wasn't cute enough. Have they ever heard of makeup? With all the $ the Chinese were pumping into the opening ceremonies, how hard would it have been to toss this young singer into a max factor chair, and doll her up nice for her performance?
Here is the photo of the two girls. On the left: the girl who actually sang the song. On the right: the girl chosen to lip-sync.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The new Aquaman!




Michael Phelp's performance at the Beijing Olympics has been nothing short of amazing. Inspiring, indeed!

Exercise insanity




Here's a thought. Instead of paying $110.00 an hour to exercise in front of someone else's Nintendo Wii, why not just fork out the required $280.00 and obtain your very own Wii? That way, you can exercise to your heart's content at home!

I wouldn't care how much I overpaid for that football!




This guy loved his football a little too much! The Pacific Ocean can have it.

Just imagine what the honeymoon will be like




Monday, August 11, 2008

Simply Spectacular




Last Friday's opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics were nothing short of phenomenal. Beautiful, majestic, and awe inspiring. It's been quite some time since I witnessed an event that left me speechless.


Way to go, China!

Friday, August 8, 2008

KNEEL BEFORE PRESIDENT ZOD!




Who needs John McCain or Barack Obama? Vote for your true leader, General Zod!

... and copping a feel will warrant the death penalty




"SLACKER!" -Mr. Strickland


A mere hug warrants detention?! I'm sorry, but don't these schools have bigger fish to fry?

Ex-girlfriend performs Tyson Maneuver on Seattle man


Ouch, that'll leave a mark!

I guess that's why she's referred to as the ex-girlfriend.

That's an attention getter!






Perhaps John McCain should've demanded a withdrawl of Russia from Georgia!


Then again, why would Russia want to pull out of Georgia? They've taken pleasure in screwing them for years!

Airlines are the new masters of the nickle & dime racket




After reading this story, alternatives to air travel are definitely looking up!


I've always advocated research to create this form of travel!

You know you're having a bad day when ...





All I can think of is Monty Python & the Holy Grail.
RUN AWAY!!!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Thank you for sailing Royal Caribbean, now GET LOST




I would love to have been a fly on the wall when this couple opened a letter indicating they were banned from Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines and its affiliates for life. After repeated cruises with RC, time and time again, this couple moaned and complained about everything. In a few instances, the cruise line agreed with them, and they were properly compensated. The majority of the time however, Royal Caribbean did not see it their way, and finally grew sick of the racket they were running to get refunds and freebies. Way to go, RC. Too many companies these days bend to the will of the consumer on every little thing, even if it isn't justified. Royal Caribbean took a stand. Props to them.

Anyone who's been in customer service long enough knows there are consumers out there who abuse the system to get unjustified compensation and freebies, at the expense of the merchant who was not at fault. I'm willing to bet this couple will go and sail on another cruise line, and start the same damn thing all over again. My hope is, inside of a couple of years, I'll be reading how they were banned from Carnival Cruise Line for life!

Oh yeah, this will make you sleep better at night




Not one, not two, but three missile silo crews were caught sleeping on duty at a North Dakota military installation.


Talk about being busted down to private!

You weren't too fat to kill, were you ...?!




This Ohio inmate claims he's too fat to be executed, stating his excessive weight doesn't allow for veins to be properly found for lethal injection. In fact, medical technicians at the prison have been unsuccessful at locating veins in him during previous medical procedures.

Ok. Fine. You know what? There's more than one way to peel a banana, even a fat one.

The State of Ohio should go drag out Old Sparky from the closet, and make this convict shake like jello for his crimes!

One moron, hold the mayo




This idiot called 911 (twice, no less) because the local sandwich shop left the sauce off his italian sub! As a result, he was arrested by police for improper use of the 911 service.


This is the same kind of malcontent who intentionally ignores a low water crossing barrier during a flood, gets trapped, requiring emergency crews to rescue him, then complains when the county sends him the bill. Way to go, Mensa!

U.S. mail carrier wants his kilt!




I personally hopes he gets his request granted. With summer temperatures being what they are, I'm sure a good kilt would provide some relief from the heat.


Of course, I can only imagine what the next USPS strike will look like(think the kilt flashing scene from Braveheart)!




Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Teen acts like a dick!




I've seen some pretty good pranks at graduations before. You know, grads wearing nothing under their gown, crazy messages on the top of their caps, mooning the audience on stage, etc. This however, truly ups the ante. Talk about major cajones!

The Monk of Metal




This guy is proof that, no matter your age or background, you can still bang-your-head with the best of them!

Bring on the Green Lantern movie




With The Dark Knight chasing Titanic's overall box office take, Warner Bros. and DC Comics should now have the clout to greenlight a long overdue adaption of Green Lantern.
It doesn't matter to me if the main character is Hal Jordan, John Stewart, or Kyle Rayner. Villains? Sinestro, of course.
No more excuses, DC. Get it done, and make it good!

Oops!




Women at a recent birthday party in Berlin were surprised when the police that showed up we're not male strippers, but indeed police!


What I've been told about German Polizei, it's not too hard to tell if they're the real deal or not. Just look out the window for the Polizei meat wagon. Look to see if they're carrying the infamous German Polizei rubber batons. Did they swagger in with a smile on their face, shirt partially unbuttoned, or did push their way in with steely-eyed stares? Bad call, ladies.